Apples and Oranges
by DoofusPrime
Summary: Mal and Zoe make a delivery for a sketchy acquaintance from the Unification War while the rest of Serenity's crew enjoys a little shopping in the town market.  Things, as usual, do not go as planned.
1. Chapter 1

**Apples and Oranges,** by DoofusPrime

_**Notes**: Hello, Firefly fans! This is my first fan fiction for the show - hope you guys enjoy it. __This story is supposed to take place sometime before the beginning of the series when Simon, River, and Book join the crew._ There will be four chapters in all, but as I am almost done with the story already, you won't have to wait long in between updates. I might update twice a week or so.  


_**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. This work was not created for profit. No copyright infringement is intended._

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XX

The bay doors opened, and a searing flood of late afternoon light came pouring into the ship's hold. Mal squinted, raising his arm to shield his eyes as he stepped up to the ramp and looked outside. It was nice, landing somewhere after being cooped up in Serenity for too long, but that first blast of sunlight had a way of taking the edge off all the excitement, even if it was just for a moment.

"'Scuse me, Mal."

Behind him, Jayne and Zoe lugged a hefty steel crate between them. He was standing in the way. Mal nodded and stepped aside to let them step gingerly down the ramp and onto the dusty, barren field where they had landed on the outskirts of town. Mal followed close behind, along with the rest of the crew, who also thought it was high time to get a little fresh air and sunshine. Up ahead, past the field and a rickety wooden fence where a few bored-looking cows stood chewing their cud, were the outskirts of town.

Usually whoever they were meeting would be standing, maybe out in the middle of that field, looking a lot more important than they had any right to look. The big shot complex, was what it was. But not this time. Avery was nowhere to be seen. Probably waiting in town somewhere, making them come to him; so much for a friendly welcome. The man had always been on the lazy side ever since Mal could remember.

Jayne and Zoe stopped for a moment and looked back expectantly. "Uh, where are we headed?" asked Jayne.

"Probably the sheriff's office."

Heads turned in unison as his crew looked at him in surprise. Jayne scratched his head in confusion. "Ain't that the last place we wanna go?"

"You'd think so. But I hear Avery's gotten himself a job as a law man ever since the Alliance took in his bootlegging partner last year. Guess he figured it was about time to go straight."

The corner of Zoe's mouth curled into a faint smile. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Well," said Mal, "guess he figured it was about time to _look_ straight."

"This thing is a little heavy, Mal. Want to give us a hand? Seeing as my husband is still enjoying the view."

Wash, who was squinting nearby as he looked out at the sunny afternoon, gave his wife an apologetic look. "Oh, sorry honey. It looked like you totally had that!"

"Sure," said Mal. "I'll help."

Mal stepped forward, about to grab one of the two free sides of the steel crate, when Jayne shifted his side over and let go just as Mal grabbed on. "Thanks boss," he said, cracking his knuckles. Mal grunted in irritation after just barely keeping his side of the crate from dropping to the dusty ground. He and Zoe realized there was no point in holding it up when they were just standing there, and set it down on the ground for a moment.

"How long are we gonna be down here?" asked Kaylee as she kicked at a clod of dirt.

"Not long," said Mal. "No reason to stick around after we finish the trade."

"Maybe we could have a walk around town, though?"

"I like that idea," said Inara.

"Not much to see," said Mal. He looked over the town ahead of them; most small towns like this had a main street where the sheriff's office – along with everything else – were lined up in rows on either side, but he couldn't anything like that, as all the buildings looked like they had been dropped down from the sky in a scattered pile. They'd have to do some lugging around before they could find Avery.

To be honest, it looked quite a bit bigger than most towns stranded on the ass end of some dusty planet. Not that moons or planets really had ass ends at all, now that he thought about it. And judging by the busy sound wafting out over the field from somewhere in the town's heart, there was some kind of event going on – maybe a festival of some kind. But he was kind of antsy about sticking around for too long. You didn't stick around after a job; that was just asking for trouble. It was hard to ignore the hopeful gleam in Kaylee's eyes, though.

"Besides," he told her, "don't you have some repairs to do? Might as well do them while we're landed."

"Sure, captain, but I need supplies for that, don't I?"

Mal rolled his eyes at Kaylee's obvious ploy. Like they'd find anything useful in a place like this. Kaylee was clasping her hands together, and now Inara was standing next to her and giving him one of those looks with the arched eyebrow. Mal stared impassively. No way they were getting to him. Then Inara noticed Kaylee's expression and looked back to him, switching to a comically overdone pouty face, which she _knew_ was just plain unfair even if she was joking, but she did it anyway. It wasn't often he saw Inara pull something like that. They _really_ wanted some fresh air.

Mal sighed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if the crew took a little breather. "Alright," he said. "Just be back at the ship in a couple of hours, okay? No dawdling."

"You got it, captain."

Kaylee gave Inara a quick high five and then crooked her hand around her arm as the two of them headed off to town. Mal was watching them when Wash slapped him on the back, almost making him drop the crate again. "Thanks, Mal! Me and the wife are gonna head out and find the local cinema, maybe get manicures. I don't know what I've been doing to them, but my fingernails look like they could cut a man's throat. But hey, good luck with your-"

"Don't think so," said Mal. "Zoe's coming with me, and you're staying here with the ship just in case anything goes south."

"Oh, come on! What could go south?"

"With Avery, you never know."

Zoe shrugged apologetically as her husband looked to her for support. "Sorry, honey. Mal's right. I'm sure we'll be fine, though, and this should only take an hour or two, depending on how much Avery wants to catch up."

"Unbelievable," grumbled Wash as he stepped back up the ramp and into the ship.

Mal turned back to Zoe, about to heft the crate up from the ground again, but before the two of them hefted it up again, he couldn't help imagining a fruitless search for the sheriff's office, winding through crowded alleys and piles of cow manure randomly placed all over town. That was usually how something like this turned out. With the sun beating down, it wasn't a pleasant thought. "Hey," he said, "help me look for something on the ship we can use to roll this around a little easier. Don't we have a hover-carrier somewhere?"

"I thought we lost that," said Zoe. "When Jayne accidentally knocked it off the side of that cliff the one time, remember?"

That _was_ right. Mal frowned at the thought. Maybe he was just feeling lazy, anyway. Between the three of them, he supposed it wouldn't be so hard.. Where was Jayne, anyway? He had just-

Mal frowned as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked past those cows by the fence just in time to catch a glimpse of Jayne disappearing between the buildings. "Where's he going?" he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"I guess he thought he was included when you said people could take a couple hours to check out the town."

"But we told him we needed him with us!"

"Didn't we tell him that four or five hours ago?"

Zoe had a point. Probably fallen right out of Jayne's head. "So it's just the two of us now," said Mal. "Sometimes I wonder what I pay him for."

"Charm and conversation."

"Right."

"You don't really think anything's going to go wrong, do you?"

Mal shrugged. He looked down at the crate, pressing a combination into the little keypad on the side and popping open the top with a hiss of compressed air. He and Zoe stared down at their cargo – a number of fancy-looking pistols and a few larger rifles with Alliance logos stamped on the side. It was what Avery had requested, sort of. Maybe the law men needed a little more firepower in this town, which – if Mal wasn't mistaken – was called Millsville, obviously named by their old acquaintance.

Avery Mills, Mal thought with a sharp flash of displeasure. Hadn't been expecting to see him again.

What was important was that their cargo _looked_ authentic enough to fool Avery, and Mal was pretty sure it would do the job. He and Zoe both knew the man from their Browncoat days, and while Avery wasn't a man who could be trusted, he also wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Mal hadn't talked to him in years – not since he'd failed to show up for Serenity Valley, now that he thought about it. Somehow that was worse than most of the double crosses Mal had faced since then. But one of Avery's goons had given them a call, and it wasn't far out of their way.

_ No_, he thought – _no way Avery'll notice anything's up_. The man barely knew which end of the _gun_ was up, back when he had to use them against the Alliance.

"We just need to keep our eyes peeled," he told Zoe.

She nodded as the two of them went back into Serenity's hold to look for something to help them with the crate, although they'd probably end up carrying it anyway. Mal wasn't too worried about the deal. Any treachery on Avery's part would probably be canceled out by his stupidity. But the man _did_ have an uncanny knack for sensing when things were about to go wrong. It was one of his few talents as a soldier, even if meant he had deserted when it really counted.

But the past was past. The person Mal could count on most was here by his side, just like she had been at Serenity Valley. And as for who he did business with, he didn't much care - just as long as they had the cash.

XX

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_**Notes**: That's it for chapter one. Like I said, this is my first piece of fan fiction for Firefly, so I would appreciate any reviews and feedback I can get. I actually haven't seen the show in a while - I was going to rewatch it on Hulu, but the site was giving me a bit of an attitude - so I'm hoping there are no major canon issues and the tone is close enough to the show._


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, wow! This must be at least a decade old! Look at the model number on this thing!"

Kaylee was obviously impressed by the hunk of metal in her hand, but Inara couldn't make heads or tails of it. Something to do with the ship's engine, probably, as that was where most of Kaylee's problems seemed to come from. Obviously Kaylee hadn't expected to find whatever it was she busy ogling in a town like this.

"And over here! Look at this!"

"Actually," said Inara, "I saw something interesting a few tents down. How about I let you keep rooting around the parts here and we meet up later?"

Kaylee shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said. She turned back to the crates of tools, supplies, and spare parts piled up in a kind of square-ish, makeshift open-air shop, in the middle of which a grubby-looking peddler was hawking his wares to a few of his other customers. The peddler ignored Kaylee – he had made a few suggestions earlier, but quickly realized that Kaylee didn't need any help after being embarrassed by her correcting everything he pointed out. "Look at this gasket!" she told the increasingly irritated peddler as Inara quietly slipped away. "This musta come from another Firefly-class. No doubt about it!"

While Inara usually enjoyed Kaylee's company, she could do without all the grease and metal.

The makeshift scrap shop where they had been looking at spare parts Kaylee might use for the ship was only one of many shops lined up along the town's main street, which was hosting some kind of market festival. Some were inside buildings, some under tents, and some just haphazard collections of bins and tables gathered around some enterprising capitalist, probably hoping for enough cash to pack off to a better town. The street itself had been hidden in the center of town, surrounded by a denser ring of buildings crisscrossed by more scattered, maze-like lanes and alleyways. Beyond the buildings were barren fields on the outskirts of the town which looked like they hadn't grown anything in years. Maybe it was trading time, but it obviously wasn't harvest time.

As far as Inara knew, they hadn't been expecting such a busy day in town, even if they were only stopping for an hour or two. Hopefully it wouldn't cause any problems for Mal and Zoe's little meeting. But then again, maybe they'd arranged the deal on a busy day to keep everybody's attention elsewhere. The marketplace was definitely bustling with activity, and the occasional shabbily-dressed man gave Inara a leer as she passed by. More than a few of them were missing one too many teeth to pull of a good leer in the first place. Or maybe it was actually the lack of teeth that made leers more noticeable. She didn't want to think about it too much.

"Interest you in some jewelry, ma'am?" asked one man. "I reckon a lady as classy as yourself must have an eye for the best."

Inara stopped and looked at the old man, who was to her right, under a nearby tent and waving a grizzled hand theatrically over a display case of jewelry set up just outside of its front entrance. She didn't consider herself a snob, but her career as a Companion had given her enough familiarity with the finer things in life to recognize good jewelry when she saw it. And that definitely _wasn't_ the best.

Still, she decided she'd humor the man. He looked about as down on his luck as everyone else around, but he wasn't leering, at least. His smile was friendly, nonthreatening; she could usually tell that kind of thing. And she found his sales pitch oddly charming. She noticed a pair of earrings on the man's display that caught her eye more quickly than the others. "This pair looks nice."

She reached down; before her fingers could touch them, however, she got a light shock from an energy barrier protecting the jewelry display. "Whoops!" laughed the man good-naturedly. "Sorry 'bout that. Lotta thieves in these parts, ma'am. Course, I can obviously trust a lady such as yourself."

The man gave her his best attempt at a winning smile – all gums and not much else – and turned off the energy barrier so Inara could pick up the earrings. She looked at them more closely. All of his jewelry looked like cheap imitations of core world merchandise; quite a few looked like the kind of things she saw back in her home world. But the earrings looked nice. They were in the shape of sinuous golden dragons with glittering emerald insets for eyes: all imitation, of course. They reminded her of a pair she had bought once in Sihnon, just as she was undertaking the very involved process of becoming a Companion. A warm flush of nostalgia welled up inside her as she dangled them in her hand. They brought back memories. She hadn't been home in a long time.

Nowadays, of course, home had a gravity-drive and a family most Companions wouldn't be caught dead with.

"How much are they?" she asked.

The man stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Well," he said with an impish grin, "It ain't often we get a lady as beautiful as yourself 'round these parts. I reckon I could part with them earrings for about 10 platinum, as a special offer."

Inara smiled. She had been wondering whether the man was unaware of the higher-end merchandise his jewelry was supposed to be imitating, or whether he knew full well he could dupe his less discerning customers. Judging by the steep price he was asking, definitely the latter. Still, compared to most of the dishonest peddlers she met, there was something strangely warm and friendly about the man, and they were nice earrings. She reached for her pocket, deciding to play along. Why not live a-

Jayne knocked her to the dust before she knew what hit her.

"What in the world, Jayne?"

The two of them lay sprawled on the road. Inara got up and brushed dust from herself after Jayne rolled off and leaped to his feet, glancing around wildly for a moment before making a very obvious effort to act like nothing had happened. Several people stopped for a second to gawk at the scene, but went quickly back to their marketplace activities. Apparently, they needed more than that to get their attention. Jayne noticed the daggers Inara was shooting him and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Didn't see you."

"Are you in a hurry?"

"Me? No way. Just takin' a walk, that's all."

The man behind the jewelry case looked nervous at Jayne's sudden appearance – not to mention the fact that Inara was still holding his earrings. She returned them to the display with a smile, which seemed enough to let the old man know he wasn't in imminent danger of being robbed by this strange new man, and then returned her attention to Jayne. "Weren't you supposed to be helping Mal and Zoe with their deal? Just in case things go south?"

"Nah," said Jayne. "They can handle themselves. Besides, we'll know if things go south."

"How is that?"

"Gunshots, of course."

Inara rolled her eyes.

"Tell you the truth," said Jayne as he pulled something stealthily out from under his shirt, "I just nabbed this from a store down that alley." He held a pocketbook out for her to see. "For my mom. It's definitely her style. Pretty good catch for a town this size, if you ask me."

"I'm guessing they don't have this market festival very often. I see a lot of out-of-towners around, and there were a couple other ships landed on the outskirts of town when we got here." Inara looked at Jayne disapprovingly as he stuffed the pocketbook back into his shirt. "You know, maybe you shouldn't be stealing when we're here trying to make a deal with the town sheriff."

"Try living on the wild side sometimes, honey."

Inara raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, now, I don't have good looks and fancy outfits I can use to charm all the men I see," complained Jayne. "Er, not that I'd wanna go charming any men, don't get me wrong, it's just – look, the point I'm tryin' to make is I gotta rely on gettin' stuff the old fashioned way."

"Wouldn't _buying_ things be the old fashioned way of getting them?"

"You crazy? What'd people do before they invented money, huh?"

Inara waited patiently for Jayne's answer.

"They stole everything, that's what!"

She decided she couldn't argue with that - or at least she didn't want to.

The two of them had been strolling aimlessly along the town's main street as they talked, looking at the various odds and ends up for sale. One particularly large tent caught Inara's attention – not so much for its size, but for what she glimpsed inside. She did a double take and stopped in her tracks before heading through the open flaps in front. Jayne almost walked off without noticing she was gone, but then followed her inside, where a handful of other people were milling around various wooden tables.

The tent seemed to be selling various artistic knick-knacks, home décor, candles, bottles, decorated vases - high end merchandise, mostly. A lot of it looked like core world merchandise – and not knockoffs like the old man's jewelry, either. Inara got the impression that people in the tent were browsing more than buying, maybe in part thanks to the excessive air conditioning blasting through the tent from a unit stuffed in the corner. Inara got the feeling some merchant had set up shop here without thinking about the kind of clientele he'd find in a town like this.

But none of that had caught Inara's eye while she was outside. In the center of the tent, pushed up against its main pole, was a larger wooden table with a variety of food and drink for sale. Right in the middle of the table was its centerpiece. If she had less poise, Inara would have licked her lips at the sight.

"Whoah," said Jayne. He licked his lips.

"Exactly what I was thinking."

It was a transparent plastic globe on a pedestal, filled to the brim with fruits in all shapes and colors. Apples, grapes, bananas, and – a certain mechanic's face came to mind, smeared with oil and sparkling with wonder – strawberries. Inara could even see a few oranges. The sight was enough to send a faint shiver through her. She had loved oranges in Sihnon, and even there, they were expensive. Seeing them out here in the border worlds was almost unheard of. Just a few of those fruits would be pricey, but all together? They made one expensive centerpiece. She wondered if they were selling them individually or if someone had to buy the whole thing. Forget about pocketbooks; _that_ was something worth stealing.

"Now _that's_ something worth stealing."

Inara laughed at Jayne's comment. Exactly what she was thinking, again.

An idea came to mind as she noticed what looked like a gangly teenage shopkeeper approaching them from across the tent with a tentative smile. She didn't normally like getting into the kind of trouble that people like Mal and Jayne got into, but maybe something about Jayne and his stolen pocketbook had put her in an adventurous mood. And that fruit _did_ look tempting. Jayne was right; Inara didn't like to let it get to her head, but she did have her looks. She wouldn't have to steal anything. "Watch and learn," she whispered to Jayne as the shopkeeper boy approached.

"Hello there," said the boy. "How can I help you?"

"Just looking around. That cornucopia of fruit over there caught my eye."

"Oh, yeah – we just got it in a shipment from Beaumonde. Would you like to buy it?"

"Well," said Inara, giving him her best despondent look, "I'd love to, but I'm a little low on platinum right now. I've been traveling for a long time, you know – it can get a little expensive being all on your own with no man by your side. I'm sure you understand."

"I'm sorry. That must be hard."

"Are the prices here the bottom line, or can we do a little bartering?"

The boy looked at her uncertainly. "Uh, I'm not really sure – my boss is out, so I don't want to give anything away for too cheap, and the fruit is kind of our high value item today."

"Hmm. You're not the shopkeeper?"

"No, I'm the assistant," said the boy.

"I'm surprised. You have a very confident air, you know. I just assumed you were running things."

She was barely even trying, but her comments sent a little thrill of movement through the boy, like he was rearranging himself to look more suave and confident. "Thanks," he said with a smile. "I guess I'm more mature than most guys my age. Maybe that's what you noticed."

Inara nodded encouragingly. The boy was eating it up - hook, line, and sinker. Unfortunately, she was beginning to feel kind of guilty about using her feminine wiles - not to mention all the extra, hard-learned wiles that came from a Companion's experience, plied on someone who really had no chance against them. That, and he would probably get in trouble with his boss if the man came back to find his fruit sold off at a big loss.

She wondered if it would be better to forget about the fruit, or just buy a piece or two. But then Jayne would probably give her a hard time about giving up after her little 'watch and learn' comment. She had gotten ahead of herself, maybe. But she looked to her side and noticed that Jayne wasn't there anymore. She frowned. Maybe it was a little vain, but this whole thing had been a demonstration of how she could steal without even getting in any trouble. How she didn't even need to _steal_. And yet Jayne couldn't pay attention for five -

"Hey!"

The other shoppers froze in place at the loud exclamation. Inara turned with them and saw an angry-looking man standing just inside the tent. "What are you doing?" he yelled, pointing at the young shopkeeper Inara had been talking to, who gulped nervously at the question. _Probably the kid's boss, she thought_. But why was he yelling?

She turned around again, looking past the young assistant shopkeeper, and realized his boss wasn't pointing at him. He was pointing at Jayne. She groaned; this didn't look good. Jayne stood by the wooden table in the center of the tent with the globe of fruit clasped between his arms, frozen in place like he had just stepped into a room full of Reavers. He took a step back, and then nodded at Inara. "Come on!" he shouted right at her. "Stop flirtin' with the kid so we can get the hell outta here!"

Inara winced as he made a mad dash for the back of the tent, dropping and rolling on the ground in order to wriggle underneath the white canvas as quickly as possible. The shopkeeper let out a yell and ran past her, dropping down at the canvas where Jayne had slipped through, but the man was having a much harder time executing Jayne's neat little move, even without a big globe of fruit in his hands. He quickly gave up trying to lift the heavy canvas, realizing there was no way he could keep up with the thief at the rate he was going.

Instead, he turned back to Inara. She smiled nervously as he pointed an accusing finger straight at her.

"You!" he yelled. "You two were in cahoots, huh? Well it looks like you're the one paying up!"

The awkward assistant shopkeeper looked at her in shock, like he had just been betrayed. "Sorry, sweetie," she said, giving the teen a quick kiss on the cheek before she turned and dashed for the front entrance.

The other shoppers in the tent didn't seem to care about the theft, but the shopkeeper ran towards her in hot pursuit. On an impulse, Inara turned over a table by the tent's entrance, spilling merchandise over the ground and blocking the shopkeeper as she escaped. She felt a surge of adrenaline, along with irritation at Jayne for totally misunderstanding the situation. What did he _think_ was going on? That she was just providing a distraction while he stole it in full view of everybody? Sometimes she was amazed the crew of Serenity got away with what they did.

Inara glanced quickly down both sides of the main street, not sure which way to go. The shopkeeper would be bursting out of the tent at any moment, and – _of course_ – she spotted what looked like a deputy on a horse down the road. She darted around the tent before anyone could spot her or stop her. Just as she was about to head for a knot of buildings in search of Jayne, she felt a hand grab her by the arm and pull her back. She was about to struggle until she saw it was the old man who had been trying to sell her the knockoff jewelry.

"This way."

The old man led her hastily towards his tent, motioning for her to drop down behind his little jewelry stand just as the shopkeeper from the bigger tent stumbled out and looked around angrily. Inara smiled as she slipped out of view; the old man was faster than he looked.

"That girl!" yelled the shopkeeper. "Did you see her?"

The old man nodded, stroking his grizzled beard. "Think she went off that way," he said with a point in the opposite direction, down main street in the direction of the deputy. The shopkeeper dashed off. After making sure the coast was clear, the old man looked down at Inara with a mostly toothless grin. "Gettin' in some trouble, are ya?"

She smiled. "Just a little."

"If you're feelin' thankful, maybe you could buy them earrings?"

"I would, but I'm in kind of a hurry."

Inara wasn't lying, either. Now that she and Jayne were both in trouble, it might pose problems for Mal and his deal. She had to get away from main street, and they had to wrap things up and get out of this town quick.

She stood up, thinking she was out of danger and ready to leave, but cursed at her stupidity when she noticed the horse-mounted deputy coming closer. A couple people from the other tent pointed idly in her direction, too - probably hoping for something entertaining to happen. _Too impatient, Inara,_ she chided herself. Even the old man winced at her mistake. Down the road, the deputy gave her a cold stare. She really _did_ want those earrings, but they'd have to wait. And if she actually got dragged to the jail house where Mal was doing a deal with his old war-friend-turned-sheriff? Well, that would be embarrassing at best.

The deputy's horse changed from a canter to a full gallop as Inara hiked up her dress and ran blindly down the nearest alley branching off from the market street. Why did these things happen so often? Sometimes she wondered what she could have been thinking when she leased a shuttle on Serenity. If her past self could see the kinds of things she got mixed up in nowadays... Jayne was going to get an earful about this one.


	3. Chapter 3

There was something about sitting in a jail house that made Mal feel like he was caught in the belly of the beast. Not that there was anything threatening about this room – pretty small, dust and wood, a few jail cells closed off with energy shields, transparent except for the occasional rippling glitch when a fly buzzed into them. One of the cells was occupied by someone either very drunk or very crazy, who kept staring at Mal like there was something on his nose. All in all, a pretty underwhelming police station. But it was the _principle_ of the thing. It just wasn't the kind of place he liked to be, even if it _was_ a backwater town in the middle of nowhere.

His nerves eased up a little at the sight of Avery. Mal had to keep himself from letting out a bark of laughter when his old army acquaintance waddled into the police station with a couple of burly deputies on either side. The man had definitely gained a few pounds since his days as a Browncoat – not that Mal thought he deserved to be called that. Somehow, the added bulk was more amusing when he thought about the blustering, self-obsessed personality Avery used to have. Just a good fit, he supposed. A muffled noise from Zoe, who was sitting beside him at the table in the middle of the room, told him she shared his opinion.

"Well, well," said Avery as he eased himself into an ominously creaking chair on the other side of the table. "Will you look at the three of us. Been a long time, Mal, Zoe."

Mal nodded. "A long time indeed. Refresh my memory – when was the last time we saw each other?"

"Right before Serenity Valley," said Avery after a pause.

"Hmm. That'd be it."

"I see you've been doing well," said Zoe as she looked him over.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're sheriff now – that's a lot of responsibility."

"I s'pose so. Folks around here needed a little discipline."

"And you're just the man to give it to them."

"That's right."

Avery's words, tinged with an streak of defensiveness, lingered in the air as the conversation trailed off into silence. Mal couldn't help smirking; he had never been close to Avery in the past, but this was even more awkward than he had expected. It wasn't often a conversation stopped dead in its tracks before it even had a chance to get going. Still, they were here for a deal, and the lull in conversation brought everyone's focus to the big steel crate they had dropped right in the middle of the table. Avery was a lot bigger than he used to be – it was time to see if that brain of his had gotten any bigger, too.

"It's been a pleasure seein' you two again," said Avery as he scratched a roll of hairy belly protruding from beneath his sheriff's uniform, "but what do you say we wrap up this deal? I got some things to attend to – busy day in town today, you know."

"We noticed," said Mal. "You got our payment?"

Avery nodded to one of his burly deputies, who was holding a hefty burlap sack. Mal opened it up and looked inside, pulling out a piece of platinum and looking it over to make sure their old acquaintance wasn't pulling any fast ones. Didn't look like it. Avery, of course, opened up the crate and looked inside himself. "I knew you'd come through," said Avery. "Maybe we had our differences, but I figured you'd be the man to jump at grabbin' stolen Alliance goods."

"That's right," said Mal. "We went through hell getting those, so you'd better appreciate them. Had to raid a fully manned outpost. And let me tell you, they don't take kindly to folks who don't knock!"

Of course, that wasn't how they had gotten the firearms, but Avery didn't need to know that. Normally Mal wouldn't be so cheeky, but he didn't think the man would notice. Back in the old days, he barely noticed when they were caught in the middle of a firefight. Avery looked over one of the weapons before placing it on the table. One of his deputies took a closer look at the weapon while Avery inspected the other weapons in the crate, wearing an expression of comically exaggerated concentration; it was all Mal could do to keep himself from bursting out laughing. Like that joker had the knowhow to tell if there was something wrong just by-

"These are fakes."

Mal barely kept himself from dropping his bag of platinum in shock. He caught Zoe flinching in surprise out of the corner of his eye, too. It wasn't Avery who said it – no, it was one of his deputies. So maybe Avery _hadn't_ gotten any smarter, but he'd been lucky enough to pick someone with a good eye, at least.

The deputy pulled another weapon out of the box and gave it a quick look before placing it beside the first one already on the table. Avery narrowed his eyes as the deputy shook his head. "You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. The alliance logo isn't right, and the quality's trash. These didn't come from one of the core worlds, no chance. Probably some of those knockoffs from Haven. I'd be surprised if they even worked at all."

Avery looked at his guests with a malignant smile. At least the man appreciated a good attempt at a double cross. Mal sighed; so much for a smooth deal. Of course, when it came to Mal and his crew, deals went down in a hail of gunfire more often than a friendly handshake – he didn't know why he ever expected the latter.

For just a moment, everyone in the sheriff's office stood watching each other silently, waiting for someone to make the first move. Mal could see the deputies' fingers lingering dangerously close to their sidearms, and while Avery was fat enough that he couldn't quite tell if that lump by his side was a sidearm as opposed to just fat, he definitely _looked_ ready to shoot. Still, maybe the situation could be defused. Mal didn't see why anybody had to get into a gunfight, after all. Avery should have expected a little double dealing.

"What do you say we just cancel the deal and part ways, then?"

Not knowing how well Mal and Zoe were armed, Avery seemed to be considering the offer.

"Normally I wouldn't hesitate five seconds in shootin' a man who tried a stunt like this," said Avery.

Zoe finished his line of thought. "But you're a sheriff now," she said.

"Exactly."

And that was when Jayne jumped through an open window.

Mal didn't have time to wonder why Jayne was leaping through the window; that kind of thing happened a lot, anyway. Jayne was just the kind of guy who ended up going through windows a lot. What was more important was that Jayne managed to knock over one of Avery's deputies, sending the two of them rolling across the floor. Avery and the other deputy backed up as Avery's face twisted into an angry snarl – apparently he didn't realize this wasn't an ambush and Mal had no idea what in the world Jayne was doing. Before Avery and his goon could reach for their guns, Mal and Zoe both took the opportunity to leap out of their seats and grab the two fake alliance weapons set on the table, backing up and pointing them menacingly.

Jayne rolled off the man pinned beneath him and began to get up. "Whoa, is this the sheriff's office?" he asked, looking around the room in surprise. "Wouldn't have jumped in here if I knew-"

"Jayne," said Mal. "Punch."

Jayne had been about to give the man pinned beneath him a helping hand, but he took a second to look around and realized the deal had gone bad before punching the fallen deputy and knocking him out cold. He got up from the floor and dusted himself off as he stared at the guns Mal and Zoe were holding. "Got one for me?" he asked.

"Grab one from the box."

"You're bluffing," said the other deputy. "Those don't even work!"

Mal cocked his weapon. "Oh yeah? You volunteerin' to see if that's true or not?"

The deputy gulped. Avery looked like he was about to make a break for a short hallway leading out to the back of the sheriff's office, but with his size, Mal would be surprised if he didn't get himself caught in between the walls. "I shoulda known you'd double cross me," said Avery. "You were always actin' so high and mighty in the army, but look at you now – some third rate smuggler!"

Mal sputtered indignantly "What? So you knew I'd double cross you, but you asked for my services anyway? And calling me a double crosser," he added with a gruff bark of laughter, "how rich is that? I know damn well you were running a bootlegging operation before you ended up here. So look at the pot calling the kettle black!"

"I think he's just feeling a little defensive, captain," said Zoe.

"Oh, right."

"I'm a sheriff now," said Avery. "Maybe I had my faults in the past, but I'm respectable now, thank you very much."

"Yeah, right. You only gave up the bootlegging because your partner got arrested."

"I turned Jimmy into the authorities myself, thank you very much. And the reward wasn't even part of it – I've gone straight, Mal. Chose a life of good livin', unlike yourself! How the mighty have fallen! Settin' up ambushes on your old friends and havin' hired goons jump through the window of an office of the law."

"Hey," said Jayne, "I didn't even know what window I was jumpin' through, okay? I just chose one."

Avery dismissed Jayne with a wave of his hand, but then did a double take as if really noticing the man for the first time. Jayne also did a double take, and the two of them stared at each other with gaping mouths as Mal, Zoe, and the one conscious deputy all looked on in confusion. After a moment, Avery slowly raised a shaking finger, his open mouth clenching shut in anger. "You!" he said. "Jayne Cobb!"

Jayne scratched his head and peered more closely.

"Uh – Mr. Mills? Man, you put on a few pounds."

Avery looked like he was about to grab for the pistol that may or may not have been hidden beneath rolls of flab, but Mal took a step forward and stabbed his fake alliance weapon threateningly in his direction. Avery backed off, although he still looked like he was on the verge of leaping forward and throttling Jayne with his bare hands. "Colorful company you're keepin' nowadays, Mal," said Avery, his voice shaking with rage. "I'll be damned."

Obviously, the two of them knew each other. But this wasn't the time for introductions.

Mal glanced behind him, edging towards the door along with Jayne and Zoe. It was best to make a break for it before things got too hot. Seeing as Jayne had just jumped through the window of a building without even knowing where he was, that usually meant he had a pack of seriously ticked off people hot on his heels. Not to mention that the deputy on the floor was coming to, which would make it three on three even if Avery didn't get any more backup – and even if Mal's side had their guns drawn first, he wasn't sure the darn things actually worked. They'd put a couple of barely working pieces on top of the crate earlier, just in case Avery and his goons took them out for a little test shooting before handing over the payment, but the ones near the bottom of the crate were _definitely_ junk.

"You think I'm gonna let you all go now?" asked Avery incredulously.

"We're the ones pointing the guns," said Mal. "So yeah."

"You won't make it far."

Mal shrugged indifferently as he opened the front door. "You know the difference between us, Avery?" he asked, still training his gun on Avery and his deputies. Avery didn't answer, so Mal answered his own question. "I may be a smuggler, but at least I ain't a rat pretending to be something it's not."

And with that, Mal headed out the door as Zoe and Jayne covered his rear.

Unfortunately, he had barely gotten down the front steps of the sheriff's office before he ran straight into a deputy getting off his horse and training a gun on him. Mal stumbled and barely kept his balance as the man smiled and tipped his hat. "Goin' somewhere?" he asked. "You friends with that man there?"

The deputy pointed to Jayne as he exited the door. Mal looked back.

"Who, him? Nah. Never seen the man before."

"Arrest them!" shouted Avery from inside the police station.

The deputy took a threatening step forward, his gun drawn. Mal hadn't been paying enough attention when he left the station, and he knew if he tried to aim, he'd be shot first. Things were starting to look hairy. In a town like this, Mal couldn't help wondering if arresting was a 'dead or alive' kind of deal. One thing was for sure – he wasn't going to wait around and find out. Just when he was about to drop his weapon and pretend to surrender, however, a flash of red and black appeared from behind the deputy. There was a loud, sickening thunk. The man fell to the ground in a heap. Behind him was Inara, holding a painful-looking branch she had picked up from somewhere or other.

"Nice timing," said Mal. "I didn't know you were so good at handling big sticks."

Inara gave him a brief glare before tilting her head towards a nearby alley. "We have to go," she said. "There's more coming."

"Good lord," shouted Mal back into the police station, where Jayne and Zoe were still holding Avery and his two deputies at gunpoint. "How many police officers do you have in this town? You setting up your own private army or something?"

The sound of galloping hoofs drew closer, coming from down main street – Inara was right about having some company soon. The bustling marketplace had died down because all the commotion, and a number of peddlers and shoppers were gathered around the dusty square in front of the station. "Hey!" shouted one man. "That's the guy who stole the pocketbook!" He pointed accusingly at Jayne.

As more deputies appeared beyond the haphazard collection of tents hemming in main street, Mal followed Inara and motioned for Jayne and Zoe to keep up as they made a break for it. He and Inara darted down a side alley; unfortunately, they were going in the opposite direction of Serenity, but they didn't really have much of a choice if they wanted to evade Avery's boys. The loud crack of a gunshot rang out from behind him, and then another – he ducked instinctively as he ran, hearing Zoe fire off a couple shots from her own rifle.

_ Well,_ he thought, _at least that's one weapon that actually works_.

Jayne let out a loud curse from behind him as his weapon failed to fire.

_ Aaand one that doesn't._

"Follow them!" shouted Avery from farther back at the station. "I want them dead or alive!"

Mal wasn't surprised to hear it; from the looks of things, Avery had some kind of stranglehold over the town, and there wasn't a chance in hell someone like him was actually going to be a sheriff who followed the letter of the law. He always hated small town justice. It was high time to get out of town. All they needed to do was get to Serenity without any problems – and if they couldn't do that, come evening, maybe that marketplace would have a few hanging bodies to add to the festivities.


	4. Chapter 4

They turned a corner, squeezing into a narrower alley that twisted off between ramshackle houses. They'd have to make an arc of some kind so they could head back to the other side of town and reach their ship, parked past the outer ring of barren crop fields that circled the town. Mal got himself tangled up in a linen sheet hanging on a clothesline as he ran through the alley, almost tripping over in the process of wriggling out of it. "What d'you think yer doin'?" demanded an old lady, standing in a nearby doorway where she was folding laundry.

"Running, ma'am!"

"Well don't go runnin' into my clothes!"

Mal and his crew were already past her. "Then don't hang 'em right in the middle of the alley!" he shouted behind him.

He risked a glance back; besides the old woman, a couple other back-alley denizens had poked out of their houses to see what all the commotion was about, but he didn't see Avery or any of his deputies following. Unfortunately, he knew what that meant. Their horses couldn't get through the cluttered alleys very easily, and seeing as they had to know where the ship was, they were probably just taking up position outside of town. Not like there was anywhere else to go on this gorram moon. In front of Mal, Inara slowed down, obviously thinking the same thing.

"Where to?" asked Jayne.

Mal suddenly realized Wash was waiting on the ship for this very reason. He had almost forgotten about his backup. He got out the radio and gave his pilot a call, relieved to hear Wash's voice crackle through the air almost immediately. "Afternoon, captain," he said.

"Wash, we need you to-"

"Already on it. Heard the gunshots."

"Meet us on main street," said Inara as she grabbed the radio from Mal's hand.

"On my way."

Jayne and Inara nodded briefly to each other as Mal watched in confusion. Before he could ask, Inara handed the device back to him as she headed down a side alley, back in the direction of the marketplace set up along the town's main road, although she was taking a route that avoided where they had just come. Mal gave Jayne and Zoe a sidelong look before the three of them followed her.

Hopefully Inara had a good idea brewing, because main street was probably the last place they wanted to be. Then again, now that Mal thought about it, maybe they could get the drop on Avery and his boys. And they still had to pick up Kaylee! He had almost forgotten about her. Mal _knew_ he should have ordered everybody to stay on the ship while they did the trade.

"Hey, Inara, where are we going?"

"I have to buy something."

"_What?_"

Inara ignored him as the group wound their way through the seedy underbelly of the town – not that there was anyplace in this town that _wasn't_ seedy. They definitely weren't being followed anymore, at least. Either Avery was heading for the ship, or he was waiting elsewhere to head them off. After dodging another horribly-placed clothesline, Mal and the group exited a last alley and stumbled out into the marketplace again. The crowds weren't quite as packed as they had been just an hour ago, but there were still enough people milling around that they might be a good distraction momentarily.

Inara headed towards a nearby tent as Mal wondered what in the world she was doing. He saw her smile and nod at an old toothless man behind a stand of jewelry, fish around in her dress, and pull out a wallet, giving him some platinum in exchange for a pair of earrings. "Thank ye kindly!" said the old man. Mal watched incredulously as she put the earrings on and turned back to the group. She gave him a look and tilted her head a little to either side, like she was asking his opinion.

"They're downright gorgeous," he said. It came out sarcastic, but he was being totally honest. Still, he'd never understand women. "You want to do any more shopping?" he asked, this time with more intentional sarcasm.

Inara smiled and shook her head. "That's should do it."

Mal watched in amazement as Jayne followed the old man into the tent for a moment. Here they were, on the run from the law after a deal went south, and his crew was still insisting on doing some afternoon shopping. What was this, a vacation? The old man emerged from the tent again, and Mal caught a glimpse of Jayne behind him holding what looked like some kind of glinting transparent globe, but a booming voice rang out from down the street before he could get a closer look.

"Stop right there!"

It was Avery. So much for afternoon shopping.

Whirling around with his weapon raised, he saw the sheriff galloping down the street with a cadre of deputies to either side, also on horseback. Zoe took aim and fired her weapon, sending one of them flying off the horse and hitting the ground in a cloud of dust. Screams rose up from around the marketplace as townspeople leaped for cover and rushed into their tents. Inara motioned for the old man behind the jewelry table to retreat into his own tent. Mal fired off a shot as the deputies approached – maybe they didn't have the cover of narrow alleys anymore, but the profusion of tents, tables, booths, and confused marketplace shoppers was enough to slow them down a lot. Mal had more than enough time to turn over a nearby table for cover, ducking down with his crew as the deputies fired a few shots over their heads.

"We got you surrounded, Mal!"

He looked over his shoulder; sure enough, several more lawmen on horseback were coming around the corner from the other side of the street. "Come on!" he said in exasperation. "Are half the people in this town law men?"

Zoe turned another nearby table over to give them more cover, but it was already obvious they were outnumbered, and probably outgunned. As the deputies drew closer, forming a loose ring, Mal wondered if Avery would let them give up, or if he'd just blow them away right in the middle of the street. _Nah,_ he thought. _Dead or alive,_ Avery had said. Somehow seeing Jayne had turned the man's mood murderous. Jayne fired off another shot, with whatever that thing was he had gotten from the old man's tent propped up by his side, just out of Mal's view.

"You got a plan, captain?"

"Besides kill 'em until Wash gets here? Nope."

Zoe darted up from her cover for a moment and fired off another shot, grazing one of the deputies as he drew his horse across the street, looking for his own clear shot. Avery's deputies didn't seem to be any brighter than Avery was – other than that punk who had pointed out the weapons shipment were a bunch of knockoffs, anyway – but even if they were stupid, it would only take a moment before they realized they were sitting ducks on their horses and leap off to find cover behind the buildings on either side of the street.

Just as Mal was about to get worried, the dust began to blow around their feet. A deep mechanical whirring sound grew louder above them. He looked up, shielding his eyes against the afternoon sunlight and smiling broadly. Just in time.

"Put down your weapons," boomed Wash's voice from over Serenity's external communications system, "or I'll blow a crater in this little-"

"Transport ship!" yelled one of the deputies. "It ain't got no guns!"

Mal risked a quick look over the overturned table and frowned at the sight of the same deputy who had noticed that the weapons they were trying to peddle were cheap alliance knockoffs. He took aim and shot the man in the shoulder, enough to knock him off balance. He looked at his weapon in shock as the deputy fell off his horse – he wasn't actually expecting the thing to work. Serenity deployed its boarding ramp in midair and descended lower over the town's main street, sending clouds of dust and dislodged tent canvas flying in all directions. A couple more deputies fell to the ground as their horses got spooked and threw them off.

Once the ramp got close enough, Mal leaped up and pulled himself on while Jayne and Zoe gave him a little cover fire, although Jayne seemed to have forgotten his gun didn't work. After Mal was on, he fired off a few shots while Jayne and Zoe followed him up, and they were all on the ship in no time, although Inara took a moment to give one last wave to the old man poking his head out of the tent, who waved back enthusiastically before ducking inside before any of the deputies could bother him. Mal rolled his eyes as they retreated farther back in the hold to avoid any more potshots. That woman made friends fast.

"Sorry we couldn't do business!" he shouted down to the street, unable to resist a parting shot.

He dodged a poorly aimed parting shot from Avery, who was struggling to keep his horse in check on the street below them. The ship began to lift off again as the ramp started drawing up. He heard a faint curse and a shout from his old acquaintance, but couldn't make out the words over the sound of the ship's engines. The ship rose higher into the air, like a leaf on the wind. Through a window, Mal could see the town growing smaller beneath them.

He stepped back into the hold and saw Kaylee standing nearby; it was a good thing she was already on the ship, as he had been just about to figure out how they could contact her and get her out of the town without Avery figuring out she was part of Mal's crew. "I guess the deal didn't go so well?" she asked.

"You guessed right. Everybody okay?"

Everybody looked alright. Although Jayne was holding that strange globe in his hand.

"What _is_ that?"

Jayne looked down at the globe.

"Oh, this? I stole it. That's why they were after me."

Mal took the globe from his hands and looked over it. Some kind of plastic contraption – and inside, a big pile of fruit in a rainbow medley of colors. Just the sight of it made Mal lick his lips involuntarily. He could see why Jayne had grabbed the thing, and it was surprising they had something like this for sale in that miserable little town, even if it _was_ a market day, but still -

"_This_ is what you almost got us killed for?"

"Hey, what do you mean 'killed'?" Jayne objected with a frown of displeasure. "I knocked over that one deputy when I came through the window, didn't I? And that deal was already going south without me getting involved, don't deny it."

"Okay, maybe you have a point there – but Avery didn't go all homicidal on us until he recognized you."

"The captain has a point, Jayne," said Zoe. "What was that all about?"

Wash came down the stairs leading up to the ship's forward compartments and cockpit, leaping off the last step and joining the group in the middle of their conversation. Mal gave him a look, but Wash rolled his eyes – enough to tell Mal that they were on autopilot, obviously. "I hear drama!" he said in a sing-song voice.

"We were just asking Jayne why Avery recognized him. What'd you call him? Mr. Mills?"

Jayne's shoulders slumped as he sighed. "Yeah, I guess I didn't recognize his first name when you guys were talking about him. It's no big deal, it's just – well, I guess I was here a few years ago and I forgot about it. Got into some trouble with the man, that's all. Man like that holdin' a grudge for three years, he obviously ain't stable in the first place. You probably shouldn't have been makin' any deals with him at-"

"What _kind_ of trouble did you get into, Jayne?"

Jayne shrugged. "A little trouble with his daughter. Took something from her."

It was Mal's turn to sigh.

"Do I have to say it?" asked Jayne.

"No, you don't."

"Hey, she was the one comin' on to me, anyways!"

Kaylee shook her head in a mixture of exasperation and disappointment. "Oh, Jayne."

Mal knew he was being a bit unfair, since technically Jayne was right – the deal had already gone south as soon as that meddling deputy noticed the guns were cheap knockoffs instead of real stolen Alliance weaponry. And by flying through that window, Jayne _had_ distracted Avery and his goons long enough for Mal and Zoe to get the draw on them. But he was still mad. And he didn't like landing in some town where one of his crew members had rolled in the hay with the daughter of the man he was trying to rip off. That was what they called a complication. Not to mention Jayne had run off to go walking around town as soon as they landed instead of coming along for backup when they were negotiating with Avery, which was what he was supposed to be doing in the first place.

In a fit of irritation, Mal – still holding the fruit globe - took a step back when Jayne reached for it, opening up the top as he looked around to the rest of the crew. "I'm the captain," he said. "And seeing as we almost got killed as a result of Jayne's past indiscretions, I think commandeering this here fruit is a just reward. So who wants to have some?"

Jayne stepped forward for a moment, his face brightening, but after a stare from Mal, he seemed to actually consider what Mal had just said. "Gorram unbelievable!" he exclaimed before turning around and storming off in the direction of the sleeping area. Mal couldn't help smiling at the reaction, and while Kaylee gave Jayne a sympathetic look for just a moment, she soon forgot about him and turned back to the globe Mal was holding, eyes glittering with anticipation.

"Does it have strawberries?"

"Why, yes it does, Kaylee."

The way she darted forward, Mal thought he was about to be knocked over before he even got the chance to pick anything out of the globe. He managed to get a handful of strawberries out just in time for Kaylee to snatch them up and run off to some secluded corner where she could nibble at them without anyone laughing at her enthusiasm. Wash came up to take his share, followed by Zoe, and finally, Inara.

Mal passed her a handful of fruit which she cradled in the crook of her arm, but still she stood expectantly with one of her hands extended. Mal raised an eyebrow. _Someone_ was being greedy. Still, if she was going to be like that, of course he couldn't resist. It wasn't fair. The woman had years of training to hone her charms. More dangerous than any weapon, as far as he was concerned. She took an extra handful of fruit, gave him a winning smile, and left the hold. With just a little bit left for himself, Mal sat down on a nearby metal cargo crate and started chewing on a ripe orange. There had only been two oranges in the fruit globe – he had grabbed the one for himself before anybody else got their fruit, and Inara had gotten the other one. A fair deal, he thought.

Things had gotten a little hairy down there, but it wasn't a bad haul, really. And they _did_ get to keep the bag of platinum Avery had given them for the weapons, along with a couple of the weapons themselves, even if they were mostly useless. And this peach, well – he couldn't remember the last time he had tasted anything like this. Sweet, cool flesh with just a bit of tangyness, so soft and yielding - the transparent globe must have had some kind of insulation effect, as the fruit should have been warmer after all that running around in sweltering afternoon sunlight. Mal groaned at the taste of juicy orange on his tongue. It was like a flavor explosion. Which sounded like something Kaylee would say, but it a good description all the same.

For just a moment, Mal started feeling a little guilty about not giving Jayne anything.

But only for a moment.

XX

After having retreated angrily into his sleeping quarters, Jayne was laying back in his bunk, reaching a hand across to the side of the bed where Vera lay, quiet and peaceful. He fondled his favorite weapon absently, trying to cheer himself up a little. Up above him, plastered across the top of the bunk, was a picture of his mother. At least he had gotten that pocketbook. But still, the crew taking all that fruit for themselves... sometimes he thought nobody appreciated him. Maybe Kaylee would stop by and give him a few strawberries. She was nice. But no – this was strawberries he was thinking about. No _way_ she was giving those up.

Jayne sulked, folding his arms over himself and jutting out his lower lip. He couldn't really blame Mal, seeing as the captain got a little pissy about things sometimes. But Inara? The two of them had pulled off that heist together, but she was happy to take all the fruit she wanted since Mal was sweet on her, even if that wasn't something the man would ever admit. Apparently she didn't have any concept of team loyalty.

And what stung even more was that pulling off a hit with Inara had been fun! It wasn't often that he did something like that with someone like her. Letting her distract that little punk with her womanly ways while he grabbed the fruit globe, heading off down an alley and running into her along the way – she must have been trailing him – and handing off the globe to her, telling her to hide it with that old man she'd been flirting with earlier since the deputies were hot on their tails. It all worked out perfectly. But he should have known he'd be double crossed. Like his mama always told him, you couldn't trust 'em when they were pretty like that. He never really understood what she was talking about when he was a kid, seeing as he always thought his mama was as beautiful as women got, but growing up – well, he'd figured out what she meant, that was for sure. Like with that sheriff's daughter, for instance. _Boy_, did he figure it out.

"What are you grumbling about?"

Jayne got up from his bunk and looked over at his door. There was Inara, standing in the frame with an amused look. Jayne didn't realize he had been grumbling. "Nothin'," he said. "What do you want?"

"I was wondering what in the world you were thinking when you grabbed that fruit and ran out of the tent."

"What do you mean? The kid was totally distracted – when else was I gonna do it?"

"You _do_ realize I was just trying to flirt with that assistant shopkeeper to get a big discount, right? I wasn't really even planning on getting it for free. Why would we want to make a big scene when Mal and Zoe were trying to make a trade with Avery?"

Jayne scratched his head. Now that he thought about it, maybe it _had _been a bad time to go stealing things.

"Sometimes I'm amazed you haven't gotten yourself shot," laughed Inara.

Jayne smiled and gave Vera a loving pat.

"Just gotta be faster on the draw than the other guy."

"Well, it all worked out in the end. And by the way, don't tell Mal; I suppose this is only fair, since we were partners in crime, after all."

Jayne was confused by the comment, but Inara stepped over and pulled a couple of apples out of a deep pocket in her dress – and an orange, too. She dropped them on the sheets beside him, and Jayne licked his lips at the sight. He couldn't remember if he had ever eaten an orange before, and from what he remembered, there were only two of them in the whole fruit globe. And Mal had grabbed the other back at the hold when he was passing it all out.

"Nice earrings, by the way," he said. He had noticed a glint of gold and emerald green coming from a pair of dragon-shaped earrings she was wearing. He wasn't sure if he had seen them before; it wasn't the kind of thing he usually paid attention to. But they were very pretty.

"Thank you," said Inara. She smiled and quietly left the room.

Jayne would have thanked her for the fruit, but he already had a mouthful of orange blocking any speech, having grabbed it and peeled it in record time. Now, this, this was the reason running from those deputies had been worth it. This was indescribable. He closed his eyes as he chewed, lost in heavenly bliss.

Maybe not _all_ the pretty ones were that bad.


End file.
